Some conversations leave you with more energy than you had before. Someone really listened, you laughed together, and a casual question turned into something that stays with you.
Attention changes how we meet one another. You can tell whether someone asks out of interest or is already waiting for their chance to speak. When I say “Make meditation sexy”, I am thinking of this quality: noticing what is happening within and around us.
Attention has a presence of its own.
You share something, and the person opposite asks more. A short silence feels comfortable because nobody needs to fill it immediately. Moments like these mean a great deal to me.
I like people who can become excited about things, have their own point of view and stay curious about others. For me, part of attraction lies in how attentively we meet. Meditation therefore belongs in our relationships, our work and our everyday lives, too.
In meditation, we practise returning.
In my meditations, we may focus on the breath, the body or a sound. At some point, a thought appears: an appointment, yesterday’s conversation or something unfinished. We notice that our attention has wandered, and we return.
That returning interests me in everyday life, too. While eating, when I am already thinking about the next task. In a conversation, when I am preparing an answer internally. Noticing gives me the opportunity to listen again.
Read about current research in the article on meditation and stress. Here, I am sharing my personal perspective on why this practice matters to me.
How we listen, look and respond shapes our encounters.
A pause before the reply.
Under pressure, we sometimes react faster than we would like. A message irritates us, our tone becomes short, and suddenly we interrupt someone we wanted to listen to.
I see strength in noticing our own restlessness and being able to say, “I need a moment.” A small pause can give us room to choose our response consciously. I would not claim I always manage it. But I want to notice more closely what is occupying me and how I want to meet other people.
Noticing more of your own life.
I want to laugh, debate, feel inspired and look forward to things. For me, that also means noticing when I truly mean yes, and when I need rest.
We invest a great deal of attention in what is still to come. I also want to notice what is already here. The conversation over dinner, an idea at work or time with someone I care about.
You can try it today.
In your next conversation, put your phone aside and listen to the end of a thought before replying. Or sit comfortably for a few minutes and notice your breath as it is.
When your mind wanders, return. You do not need to turn it into another project. I want to make paying attention to ourselves and one another feel interesting again. That is what “Make meditation sexy. (Again.)” means to me.